"It was, whatchacallit, phallic, or thats how it will play."
"I mean, I'm a Glasgow boy when it comes down to it, and Edinburgh and the country are, as far as I'm concerned strange alien lands of "salt and sauce" on yer fish-and-chips (it's just not right; it's salt and vinegar, man, vinegar) and that green stuff they have in parks, ye know -- whatchacallit ... "grass" (Me: "But where are the tenements?!")."