"I'm the bes 'frien' your wife's got innis town an 'she -- who's' at lookin 'out zat winner?"
"Dis mornin ei wuz reeding on teh sofa wif summa mie kittehs an we saw juncos adn goldfinches adn our chimly-hammerin flicker adn a grayte blew heron wif a big stick innis mouf goin toward teh rookery wif hiz goofy legs awl owt strayte behind im adn we herd wrens achitterin’ adn a perpell finch doin an aria."