Gym Jokes – Funny Jokes About The Gym

Everyone has an individual journey regarding fitness, but one thing we can all unify on is the funny gym jokes. One of the best stress relievers is laughter, and no gym can take that place. We have a rounded collection of the silliest workout jokes and puns that you would love to enjoy. Whether you’re shoulder to the bar as a weightlifting champion or a rookie in the gym, these funny exercise jokes will make you smile.

Funny Fitness Jokes

So sit back and relax, unless you’re in between sets, in which case focus on your workout and not on scrolling through your phone!

• Have you heard of the vegetable that goes to the gym?
  A true muscle sprout.
• How do bodybuilders get the cardio workout done?
  Just lifting weights… faster, of course.
• Why do blondes prefer perm?
  Their trainer said curls were good for them.
• Why couldn’t the personal trainer be evicted?
  He was a chronic squatter.
• What did the trainer do when he brought a lion to the gym?
  His clients were absolutely torn into pieces, physically and metaphorically.
• Why do hamburgers go to the gym?
  To get better-looking buns!
• Why did the fish stop going to the gym?
  He said he pulled a muscle, the rookie that he is.
• I got on a treadmill at the gym.
  Everyone stared at me, so I figured running would be so much better.
• A new machine came to the gym today.
  I worked on it for an hour, it felt horrible, but it did a good job on that machine. It had a full stock of KitKats, M&Ms, and Snickers.
• My subscription to the gym is $120 a year.
  That’s around $60 per time. What a deal!
• Leg day never bothers me.
  But it sure does ruin the next 48 hours.
• I saw a genius at the gym today.
  He thought the cup holder on the treadmill was for putting Pringles in.
• Pro athletes bulk up way faster than jailbirds.
  Guess the pros just outweigh the cons.
• I was asked by my gym instructor to do the splits.
  He asked me how flexible I was.
  I said, “Well, I can’t do Tuesdays.”

• I invited my girlfriend to the gym, and then I didn’t show up.
  Hopefully, she gets the hint that we aren’t working out.
• For years working as a trainer, I finally gave up.
  A too-weak notice was submitted.
• Saw a bunch of bodybuilding priests at the gym today.
  Now, that’s what muscle mass is.
• Just signed a one-year gym membership.
  My bank flagged it immediately as suspicious activity.
• I have been hiding this from my gym buddies for weeks, and finally, I confessed-I stopped bench pressing.
  That sure took a weight off my chest.
• Two chameleons walk into a gym.
  One says, “Spot me.”
  The other says, “Who spoke?”
• I’ve been going to the gym regularly.
  Not getting any fitter, but my knuckles look like they’re rough around the edges.
• I’m thinking of launching a 24-hour health club.
  They’ll be open from 11 AM to 3 PM.
• Why does my gym trainer always keep getting new clothes?
  Because he keeps being said to be ripped.
• I’m great at consistency when it comes to working out.
  Like once or twice a year–around the holidays!
• Just in, J.K. Rowling tweets that Hogwarts has a gym.
  The Dumbbell Door, apparently!
• What will a lyricist come out of the gym after 20 minutes?
  A Lil Pump.
• I asked my trainer to allow me to start shadowboxing.
  He said: “Sure, just don’t knock yourself out.”
• Two Canadian bodybuilders were doing some post-workout relaxation in the locker room.
  One says: “Man, I’m sore, eh?”
  The other one replies: “What for?”
• Kicked out of the gym smack-dab in the middle of kickboxing class.
  Apparently, they offer no kickboxing classes whatsoever.
• Going to beat the gym today in my Accord.
  Because why would I drive somebody else’s car?
• What’s the best part about being the only one using the speed bag in the gym?
  There’s no punch line.
• I started working out and lost 10 pounds real quick.
  Good thing it was the dumbbell that missed my toes.
• What is the best gymnastics move that a banana possesses?
  A split!
• What do you call Elon Musk after being in the gym for months?
  Muskular.
• I asked my trainer if chicken was necessary for gaining muscle.
  He looked at me and said, “No whey!”

All these exercise jokes are bit long, but worth reading

Logical and Not-at-All-Traumatizing Weight Loss Plan Ever
A fatty guy got through TV channels when he happened to catch an ad for a weight loss program that guaranteed a loss of 5 lb. a week. He thought, “What the heck, why not?” and decided to give it a try. A week later, an incredibly beautiful woman stood at his door in nothing but running shoes and a smile-a sign hung around her neck reading, “If you can catch me, you can have me.” Then she took off running, and he followed. This continued every day for a week, and, wouldn’t you know, he lost five pounds. Yes, it was a real workout, but who wouldn’t chase a beautiful woman?

Feeling exuberant, he enrolled for a 7 lb. per week weight loss program. The next day, an even more beautiful woman showed up at his door, dressed the same way as before. This time, he almost caught her but still lost seven pounds that week. It started getting intense, but hey, motivation was there.

Next, he decided to go for it and signed up for a MAXPRO 10 lb. per week program. The next day, a 300 lb. A muscle man showed up at his door wearing nothing but running shoes and a rather… enthusiastic expression. With a sign around his neck that read, “If I can catch you, I can have you,” let’s just say this man was highly motivated to lose weight that week. He lost an outstanding 17 pounds, so you could say that he was running for his life!

Workout Funnies: A True Story

In the locker room of the gym, a cell phone on a bench suddenly rang. A man picked it up and put it on speaker, and everyone stopped to listen, as who doesn’t love a bit of eavesdropping?

Man: Hello!

Woman: Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?

Man: Yes.

Woman: I came across this lovely leather jacket while I’m at the shops. It’s $2,000, can I get it?

Man: Sure, go get it, you deserve it. Because what’s a couple of grand when you’ve been livin’ large?

Woman: I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. There’s one that I really liked.

Man: How much is it?

Woman: $90,000.

Man: Okay, but for that price, I want it with all options and accessories. Who cares about a budget when shopping for cars?

Woman: Wonderful! By the way, I was chatting with Jane, and the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking for $980,000.

Man: I see. Offer them $900,000. They’re bound to accept it. And if they decline, we can go up to the extra $80,000 if you really want it. After all, who doesn’t love a little gamble in real estate?

Woman: Fine. Talk to you later! Love you so much!

Man: Bye, love you too.

After the man hung up, the other men in the locker room were staring at him with mouths agape. He nude forward and asked with a completely straight face, “Does anyone have any idea whose phone this is?”